The "Dr." is Before the "Phil" for a Reason, Y'all

There's a "Dr." Before the "Phil" for a Reason, Y'all
by Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 6, 2008)

Dr. Phil likes to think his first name is really "Doctor". He has taken it upon himself to send out a national press release -to respectable news outlets like "Entertainment Tonight" and "The Insider"- to state the shocking: "Britney Spears is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention."

TV's Dr. Phil, who's "been doing this for 30 years" as he says time and time again on his show, has obviously never heard of doctor-patient confidentiality. And even more surprising, has yet to turn on a TV or read a newspaper for as long as he's "been doing this".

It's not a victorious time for women; Hilary Clinton fell behind Barack Obama in the Iowa caucuses, Pakistan's Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated and Britney Spears has been hospitalized, ya'll! (In case you missed it, just tune into the next episode of COPS -- drug addict single mother holds her kids hostage during a police negotiation, ends up leaving in a stretcher...yada yada yada.)

For almost a couple of years now we've wondered, Does Britney Spears need real help? From the shot-gun marriages to the babies to the rehab stint to the weird robot-voice-alterations in her songs.

Britney's personal life, whether intentional or not, has always been on display. She leaves nothing to the imagination, either. The entire world has seen both the curtains and the carpet, or lack thereof. (Get it? She shaves both her head and cooch completely! Alright, dumb joke) But was it all just poor decision making?

Thankfully -and finally!- Dr. Phil has cleared the air. The saint even went as far as to visit Britney Spears at the hospital she was staying, only to walk out with his troubled "diagnosis", if you will. He claims a real concern over the girl, but I'm sure the real sorrow comes from security disallowing his camera crew to follow him inside. Could you imagine his ratings?

Dr. Phil's the kind of man that will call you an "ugly looking crack whore" on national television; tough love or self love? (You may not be a crack whore, Phil, but you sure are ugly) And is most likely in the works on his latest book, titled, "Dr. Phil: I Am the Voice of Reason"

But yes, although it may be hard to believe, Phillip Calvin McGraw is actually a clinical psychologist. Years ago, he earned his PhD from the University of North Texas. And universities in Texas just don't give diplomas away, do they? Lots of educated people come from the state, like... *crickets chirp*

I don't know what Dr. Phil is trying to do, but he ain't fooling me. Everybody in the entire WORLD knows the only opinion that matters is Oprah's. You down with O.Winfrey? Yeah you know me!

And Britney-
If you want drug-induced crazy attention, this is how it's done:

Learn something. (The goods dont start till 2:34)

How many times has Courtney had Frances Bean taken away from her? Woman is queen of rehab. Woman is queen, period.
(I miss Kurt Loder)


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