Crowning Miss Psychopath 2008
by Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 3, 2008)
Kumari Fulbright, a Miss Arizona hopeful, cannot bag herself a man, You'd think being a beauty queen -and beauty being the operative word- keeping men close would be as easy as the breadpudding she puked up the night before. But nope, someone switched to whole foods. Instead, she relies on herself, along with the help of 3 others, to hold her ex-beau captive for hours, having him tied down to a chair while being beaten and threatened with weapons.
Now, the former Miss Pima County faces charges from kidnapping to robbery to aggravated assault. And if there's any justice in the system, the so-called "victim" will be charged as being a whiney bitch. It wouldn't be surprising to find that he was already a member of the S&M community to begin with. Being tied-down is a common fetish as is. Who's to say he didn't enjoy it? (Who's to say I don't enjoy it?!) Stop crying and take it like a man! -- the safety word is, "Miss USA!"
The whole dispute was over some stolen jewelry or the other, but do we honestly care? Absolutely not. Why bother learning motives when there's this glamourous mugshot getting its face pasted all over the internets? Why, yes, Kumari, no wonder you've made your way in pagentry. It must be your striking resemblance to Sandra Bernhard after a hard night doing Jager shots at a dyke bar,
Girl needs a stylist. Judges take points off for that. Committing crimes or not, if you want that crown, you got to look good doing it. But here she is copying hairstyles from Britney Spears and making a face only a toilet would get excited about. But the real question is, why is she wearing a bedsheet as a top?
The future doesn't seem promising for Kumari. Her boyfriend wont talk to her, she's just been charged with a bunch of felonies, and she can't even afford a real shirt -- let alone, any evening wear.
However, if there's anything America loves, it's heart disease, and controversy involving beauty pagents. And if you win that crown and crave real fame; go out, get drunk, do a couple of lines, and makeout with the nearest hot chick - but you have to have somone taking pictures of it all, of course- and you will get your 15 minutes. Tara Conner, anyone?
All these girls hope to become the next Vanessa Williams, who was not only the first black MIss America, but the first to survive a nude photo scandal, only to later become a singer/actress/celebrity. Sometimes the snow comes down in June / Sometimes the sun goes around the moon -- but there will never be a next Vanessa Williams, just a bunch of Tonya Hardings. And that's what Kumari Fulbright is, another Tonya Harding without the ice skates.
Source
by Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 3, 2008)
Kumari Fulbright, a Miss Arizona hopeful, cannot bag herself a man, You'd think being a beauty queen -and beauty being the operative word- keeping men close would be as easy as the breadpudding she puked up the night before. But nope, someone switched to whole foods. Instead, she relies on herself, along with the help of 3 others, to hold her ex-beau captive for hours, having him tied down to a chair while being beaten and threatened with weapons.
Now, the former Miss Pima County faces charges from kidnapping to robbery to aggravated assault. And if there's any justice in the system, the so-called "victim" will be charged as being a whiney bitch. It wouldn't be surprising to find that he was already a member of the S&M community to begin with. Being tied-down is a common fetish as is. Who's to say he didn't enjoy it? (Who's to say I don't enjoy it?!) Stop crying and take it like a man! -- the safety word is, "Miss USA!"
The whole dispute was over some stolen jewelry or the other, but do we honestly care? Absolutely not. Why bother learning motives when there's this glamourous mugshot getting its face pasted all over the internets? Why, yes, Kumari, no wonder you've made your way in pagentry. It must be your striking resemblance to Sandra Bernhard after a hard night doing Jager shots at a dyke bar,
Girl needs a stylist. Judges take points off for that. Committing crimes or not, if you want that crown, you got to look good doing it. But here she is copying hairstyles from Britney Spears and making a face only a toilet would get excited about. But the real question is, why is she wearing a bedsheet as a top?
The future doesn't seem promising for Kumari. Her boyfriend wont talk to her, she's just been charged with a bunch of felonies, and she can't even afford a real shirt -- let alone, any evening wear.
However, if there's anything America loves, it's heart disease, and controversy involving beauty pagents. And if you win that crown and crave real fame; go out, get drunk, do a couple of lines, and makeout with the nearest hot chick - but you have to have somone taking pictures of it all, of course- and you will get your 15 minutes. Tara Conner, anyone?
All these girls hope to become the next Vanessa Williams, who was not only the first black MIss America, but the first to survive a nude photo scandal, only to later become a singer/actress/celebrity. Sometimes the snow comes down in June / Sometimes the sun goes around the moon -- but there will never be a next Vanessa Williams, just a bunch of Tonya Hardings. And that's what Kumari Fulbright is, another Tonya Harding without the ice skates.
Source
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