Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hop On Pop

Hop On Pop
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (May 4, 2011)


A father-daughter duo who were out spending a lovely day together last weekend, turned into spending a nasty night in jail. After catching the flick, “Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never”, hitting The Sizzler for the early bird special, and spending some quality time on a shady corner in downtown Tampa searching for a lady love doped up on Meth, in leather thigh-high boots for Pops. The pair ended up in the back of a police cruiser in handcuffs --not the way the father had intended.

Daddy’s little girl, Pia Kirchberg, was only trying to grant her 80 year-old father, Maurice Kirchberg’s last dying wish of a paid sexcapade. However, making the Love Connection was tough. With Maurice looking nothing like Richard Gere and Pia only carrying a $20 in her knockoff Coach purse, prostitute prospects were slim. Sadly, there are no senior discounts out on the streets.

Prices that low can either lead to the hoe’s pimp dangling the crinkly 20 dollar bill at clock out and asking, “Wha-what’s this? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?” or having the on sale hooker actually be an undercover cop. Unfortunately, it was the latter of the two, and the officer flashed her badge at Maurice instead of her boobies, while Pia pleasantly waited outside, playing solitaire on her phone.

There is no crime here. Maurice was only living by example. At his age, he only has Hugh Heffner or Regis Philbin to look up to. Old dudes nowadays are under a lot of peer pressure. It’s hard enough catching Jimmy Johnson’s Extenze commercials while watching Jeopardy before heading off to bed. As for Pia, you can’t arrest a girl for listening to her parents. Since when is that illegal?

What a waste of 20 bucks! Plus the bail fees! That kind of money could have been used on a Medline Walker Basket, bottles of Metamucil or a McDonald’s Dollar Menu feast. Whatever happened to “Free Love” in the ‘60s? Times sure are a’changin’
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