The Butthole Surfers Will Stop at Nothing

The Butthole Surfers Will Stop at Nothing
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 19, 2008)

Ah, the butthole; an often overlooked part of the human body. Its role plays such a great deal of importance, it's right up there with the heart, brain, and the big toe. If anyone were unlucky enough to ever encounter a serious butthole malfunction, things could get critical, and possibly even deadly.

Daily wipes ain't enough. People just aren't aware of how high maintenance the butthole actually is. It demands diamonds and pearls and trips to St. Topaz. Your asshole is a temple and it deserves to be kept in tip-top shape! You owe it to yourself and you owe it to It to get that thing checked out as often as possible.

But surely, there are roadblocks. The passageway is almost impossible to really get into on your own. You can ask it all you want, "Is everything going okay in there?" but the butthole is rather unresponsive -- verbally, at least. So how can you really make sure? Fortunately, there are doctors out there who are happy to lend you a hand.

Regrettably, such valuable information was never passed on to Brian Persaud, who is now suing a New York hospital after receiving a rectal exam he didn't ask for. On job as a construction worker, Persaud was rushed to the Emergency Room after being struck by a fallen beam. (Where was his hardhat?) He was given a couple of stitches and thorough medical procedure, a finger up the butt.

The poor man was completely oblivious to the favor that was taking place. He was getting a 2 for 1 deal! It's like coming home from a Burger King Drive-Thru and discovering an extra bag of fries with your order. So really, it's a steal!

You would think the blow to the head would've knocked some sense into the fellow, but such isn't the case. A serious hospital matter or not, Brian Persaud let it be known that his ass was completely off-limits! In desperate attempt to shield his butthole from invaders, things got violent and the patient ended up hitting one of the doctors. Eventually, he was sedated and given the examination without a fight.

But why go to such great lengths to avoid something that was inevitable? Why go as far as to physically assault someone who wears a white coat on a daily basis? You know those guys don't work out.

It is possible that he had missed his last ass wax/anal bleach appointment the week before, and was embarrassed by the stubble and discoloration. I mean, there were probably ladies present. What kind of first impression would that bring?

And of course, there is the fear of the official word getting out. Nothing worse than your construction worker buddies' constant heckling.

In the morning on site, someone making coffee asks, "So how do you take it?"
And before Brian gets a chance to answer "2 sugars, please”, a coworker chimes in, "Oh, he likes to take it up the butt."

And if that's the reason, then he brought all of it upon himself. Obviously, going to the Supreme Court with your rectal exam case isn't a smart way to keep people -and most of America- from finding out that yes, you are no stranger to having the door opened to your rear entrance. (But hey, who's to judge? Some people dig it, and others don't.)

By the way,
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?


Source
**Thanks to Nigel, the biggest Assman there is, for sharing this article for me.