Kim, Kourtney & Khloe Take Toys ’R Us
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 7, 2012)
You see them everywhere; on TV, magazine covers, the red carpet, and soon next to Mr. Potato Head on the shelf of toy stores worldwide. After striking a deal with Mattel Inc, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian will be made into limited-edition Barbie dolls, crashing the legendary fashionista’s hot pink Dream House with useless drama and a camera crew later this year. Soon, little girls can play brainless bimbo reality show, hold tea parties with the Kardashians fighting over the last crumpet, and shoot a sex tape with Kim and a GI Joe .
Doing away with the completely unrealistic 39”/19”/33” Barbie image, the Kardashian dolls will reflect the sassy sisters actual sizes with extra filling in the badunkadunk of Kim’s figurine and a pregnant belly for Kourtney, while Khloe’s doll will simply use Ken’s body in a brunette wig. The toy trio will also come with Kardashian designed clothes, including low-cut leopard print tops, shiny black leggings, and a mini version of Kim’s strapless, poofy, ill-fated wedding dress. Bug-eyed sunglasses, BlackBerrys, and divorce papers accessories sold separately.
For over 50 years, Barbie has been showing off her vocational gifts in different careers, from a lifeguard to an astronaut to a McDonald’s cashier and more. What is that teaching today’s youth? Hard work can make you successful? Don’t be ridiculous. Scuba diving, flying planes and deep frying chicken nuggets is not going to land you a coveted spot on Toddlers & Tiaras. It’s important for children to learn at an early age, no matter what Barney says, you can be famous for doing absolutely nothing. America’s got talent, but the Kardashians sure don’t. Yet they have millions of dollars, fans, and boxes of Twinkies. It’s time to keep it real and the launch of the Dash Dolls will do just that.
As the Kardashian’s empire continues to expand, there is no telling what to expect. Already hitting the female demographic with Kardashian Barbie dolls, Kardashian blow up dolls for boys to “play” with seems profitable. Will a move from KB Toy Stores to sex toy stores be next? Find out next Sunday at 10pm on E!
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