A Lemonade Stand Turns Sour

A Lemonade Stand Turns Sour
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (July 9, 2011)

Summer’s here and with scorching temperatures that make even Michael Moore strip down to his skives in sweat, there’s nothing more refreshing than a nice cold glass of lemonade to cool you off, quench your thirst, and keep you clothed. Yet, we unfortunately live in a dog-squeeze-dog world where last week a lemonade stand held by a trio of children in Ohio was robbed by a group of teenagers dressed in hoodies, skinny jeans, and temporary leprechaun tattoos.

The criminal activity started after one teen took a sip of the zesty drink, slammed down his glass, and demanded a refund. “What is this?! This isn’t diet! Now give me my 25 cents back!” Using his 4th grade math, the 11 year-old vendor slowly struggled counting the coins to return to the customer. Frustrated and already running late for the Dungeons & Dragons convention in Cleveland, the teenage thugs grabbed the money jar from the foldout table and drove off.

The crooks got away with $13.50 of the little ones’ hard earned money of sitting out in the sun catching second degree burns, squeezing lemons into lukewarm water, and missing a Sponge Bob marathon. If these types of burglaries continue, security cameras will soon be installed inside the cardboard constructed booths to catch the offenders in the act and to later be broadcasted on TruTV’s countdown of “World’s Most Desperate Criminals”

The kiddies were only doing their part trying to save the dwindling economy with their seasonal juice business. Times are hard enough spending the summer days with your unemployed parents at home yelling out numbers at the TV while watching The Price Is Right in pajamas. Money doesn’t grow on trees; someone needs to bring home the bacon.

However, after hearing the news of the theft, an anonymous donor gave the children $20 as a repayment. That’s a 6 dollar bonus and a Taco Bell lunch! So you see? When life hands you a lemon; make lemonade.