Big Poppa's On Twitter

Big Poppa's On Twitter
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (June 30, 2011)

SMH, the Pope is now on Twitter. Under the name “BigPoppa”. Pope Benedict XVI made his first tweet on Tuesday promoting the Vatican’s new website, blessing his followers, and proving that age ain’t nothing but a number. At 84, dressed in a white robe with a Lady Gaga inspired hat, Benny is still down with the young, trendy, and hip kids, reporting on Twitter from his baptized iPad and showing the globe that religion rocks. Mama Mary didn’t raise no fool.

The Holy Father joined the social network to better connect with Catholics worldwide, spread the word of God to the masses, and tweet pictures of The Vatican’s daily Eucharist, posting, “Nom nom nom! The body and blood of Christ! Yum!”

In this digital age, everything’s now on your computer screen, from PerezHilton’s celebrity news, to talking fruit on YouTube, to the Sunday sermons of priests, bishops, and cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church. You’ll never have to race to Confession again after a wild night of drinking 2 for 1 shots, stealing a box of Fig Newtons from grandma, and hooking up with Danny Bonaduce, since the sacred guilt box is now at your fingertips. Plus, those who retweet any of BigPoppa’s biblical posts will get their Twitter page splashed with virtual holy water.

To better fit in with the times, the crucifix will soon have Jesus hanging from the cross wearing thick framed glasses, with a laptop in one hand and a Starbucks cup in the other. The modern martyr.

It hasn’t even been a week and Big P already has over 30,000 followers. That’s one popular holy man. Won’t you follow Him…on Twitter?

RT @HotBunsNun: Praise Jesus! @BigPoppa is here and ready to fight against evil @Satan sister @SineadOConnor