From Facebook To The Jail Books

From Facebook To The Jail Books
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Dec. 28, 2011)

It’s a digital age we live in nowadays, with children listening to The Wiggles’ Greatest Hits on their iPod, nuns texting the word of God during morning prayers, and Grandpa setting his next urologist appointment on his iPad 2. Everything is as simple as a push of a button, even when it comes to a crime investigation.

A Pittsburg market was burglarized by four thieves earlier this month. The robbers got away with $8,000 in cash, cigarettes and 100 bags of Skittles. It was mission accomplished for the gang, with a trip to Disney World planned, till one member posted pictures of the pocket-posse with all their stolen goodies on his Facebook page. Turns out the thoughtless thug, Isaiah Cutler, forgot to change the privacy settings on his Facebook account. The photos were made public and provided the police solid evidence for their arrest. No Law & Order detective work needed; the cops didn’t even have to put down their jelly donuts. Case solved.

Bored of flipping through MAD magazine and played out on Super Mario, the amateur burglars were just looking for something to do on their winter break from school. A store robbery was the answer! The group was made up of two 14 year-olds, a 17 year-old, and Cutler as the eldest and dumbest at 18. The other 3 will serve their short sentence for grand theft as juveniles before heading back to the 8th grade while Cutler will be tried as an adult, and likely ruled a new life in handcuffs, picking up trash off the freeway, and becoming the newest bitch in the Pittsburg Penitentiary. Look out for his prison updates on Facebook coming soon. (Isaiah Cutler: My butt hurts. –with cellmate Stinky Pete, Isaiah Cutler: Doing the jailhouse rock! –at the Prison Yard)

Showing off their biceps and Benjamins, the after-party-raid pictures that landed Cutler in the slammer look as if they are the remains left on the cutting room floor of a poorly made hip hop video not even Vanilla Ice, with his comeback single “Ice, Ice Adult”, would participate in. The boys flash wads of cash and pose shirtless for the camera, all in hopes their Facebook Friends will click “Like” and comment on their awesomeness and glorious triumph.

However, Cutler’s lawyer claims the gangster-in-training’s images were all photo-shopped and that his client’s Facebook was hacked into. None of this would have happened on Google+.

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