Saved By The Dog

Saved By The Dog
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (April 19, 2011)

An angel disguised as a talking gorilla dressed in a black leather vest, sunglasses, studded bicep bracelet and a long golden power mullet, came down from Biker Heaven and saved the once famous Nicholas Cage by posting his bail last weekend after getting arrested for domestic violence, public intoxication and 2007‘s Ghost Rider.

After an 8 hour lock-up sharing a toilet with Mel Gibson’s former cellmate, Nic used his one phone call to contact his TBH BFF, Duane “Dog” Chapman, to rescue him. Immediately putting his 4-man chase of The Hamburglar surrounding a Denver McDonald’s to a halt, Dog rushed to be at his friend’s side with $11,000, a camera crew and a bottle of L’Oreal’s Sublime Bronze.

Now if there’s anything the A&E macho believes in its hairspray, and the legalization of washed-up movie stars smacking around their wives while liquored-up on Zima out on the streets of New Orleans. What were those Louisiana police trying to pull? It wasn’t like the crime was anything serious; the NOPD acted as if this were a local Dunkin Donuts heist.

Dog and Nic first met a few years back at a Hair Club For Men in LA, where Dog held a seminar giving baldies tips and secrets behind his mighty mane. The pair have been buds ever since, spending time together shopping for motorcycles, going to Elvis conventions, and enjoying romantic candlelit dinners at Outback Steakhouse.

Unfortunately Nic Cage has recently filed bankruptcy. Seems like the box-office crap the actor released in the last 10 years has been a bad investment. The Academy Award Winner even pawned off his Oscar for some extra cash to pay for the Big Mouth Billy Bass in his living room

It’s still nice to know Nic’s got a friend in high places. City of Angels 2: Back With Avenges.