Legally Bimbo with Tila Tequila

Legally Bimbo with Tila Tequila
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (June 15, 2008)

Changing the world, one tongue bath at a time, MTV’s own reality-dating spit-swapping princess, Tila Tequila has single handedly (pun intended) legalized gay marriage in the state of California. Thanks to her –and only her- same-sex couples are finally allowed to wed, and also get a free bikini wax with their jager bombs.

With absolutely no political background, Tila proves a greasy skank in a string bikini, holds much more power than any lawmaker. Just ask Democratic pant-suit-loser, Hillary Clinton, who passed on her husband’s campaign advice.

A bisexual woman, who enjoys playing with both baseball bats and catcher’s mitts, Tila insists that it was indeed, her own television show, Shot of Love with Tila Tequila that played the focus factor in the US’s growing acceptance in homosexuality.

Unlike other popular dating TV programs, such as The Bachelor and Flavor of Love, that discriminate towards the slutty ways of one gender, Tila Tequila mixes it up a bunch of Frat-crashing-horndogs, along with a batch of dyke and lipstick lesbians, both drama-loving teams battling it out for Mistress McSlutty's affection -- and usually, it’s everyone at the same time.

Helping build gay tolerance in America, Tila Tequila shines light on the boundlessness and seriousness of true love, by having her hopeful contestants, hump inflatable animals, eat raw pig testicles, and make out in VD-infested Jacuzzis.

Opening eyes by opening her legs. History in the making. So take note. This will all be on your test later


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(All I gotta say is, make up your damn mind! Those bisexuals are so greedy; sitting on a fence, while sitting on someone’s face. )