America's Next Top Model Finishes Big

America's Next Top Model Finishes Big
by Chloe Dinnerrolly (May 15, 2008)

America's Next Top Model's newest winner has her cake and eats it too- with chocolate mousse and fudge-vanilla swirl ice cream, along with a side order of lemon meringue pie. Let's just hope she remembers to save a piece for Tyra!

Hailing from northern Florida, 20 year-old Whitney Thompson is not the kind of girl who's ashamed to ask for seconds, as long as it's not 2nd place. And with the ambition that matches her appetite, the curvy gal has been named the first plus-size champion in ANTM history, and history of reality series everywhere, for that matter.

With the season finale of Cycle 10, America's Next Top Model welcomed in the size 10 along with it. Finally getting some recognition, girls with real body shapes across the country are overjoyed with the outcome. Real girls, whose thighs stick together whenever they sit and arm flab that flaps with each effortless move, oh-so proudly, like an American flag waving in the wind.

Some may say the Southern belle holds the body-type of the average American woman, but the average American woman is fat. This nation is built on McDonald's $1 Menu and the motto: More is more, but now, like an STD on Lindsay Lohan's toilet seat, the theory has spread- to the fashion world, no less!

The success of America's Next Top Model is not a tough equation to figure out. We love to judge. Whether it’s falling off a runway in 6in stilettos, sobbing over a haircut, or getting called a tranny look-a-like by Paulina Porizkova, we love to watch thin and beautiful girls being made as fools. It makes the hair growing on our upper lip not so bad. Thanks to the show, we don't have to rely on sneaking behind someone's back in order to talk smack; it's now as easy as sitting in front of the TV.

Yes, the fashion world is completely unrealistic compared to what you see in the mirror and on the street, or dare I even say, on the scale, but that's a huge part of its appeal. Getting paid thousands of dollars to wear designer gowns, dating and partying with the hottest celebs, and living off a diet of cocaine, champagne and cigarettes, with the daily ExLax? It's a fantasy world.

Due to jealousy, insecurity, and straight-out haterade, it's nearly impossible to keep oneself from pointing out the imperfections of these almost-perfect people. It's fun. But here comes Whitney with her badonkadonk and ANTM brand behind her, to totally flip it. Like always, the big girl spoils the fun, because with a plus-size model, there's guilt involved. Who are we to pick apart someone who is not 34-24-36, while we watch and sit on our couch pigging out on Tostitos? It's hard to go against one of your own.

This is nothing but bringing false hope to young girls everywhere. What are these crazy ideas we're filling our children’s' minds with? As if a fatty can advance in society.

Personally, my heart broke once Fatima was shockingly eliminated from the final 3 in the competition. USA for Africa, my ass.

Wait, what's that sound coming down the runway? Ah, it's the rumble of the thunder thighs, with Whitney leading the way!