Blue Ivy Inc

Blue Ivy, Inc.
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Feb. 11, 2012)

Crazy In Love or just plain crazy hip hop superstars and new parents, Beyonce and Jay Z, have filed paperwork to trademark their infant’s name, Blue Ivy. This will make the Carters proud owners of the moniker of their million dollar baby and prevent it from being used by fashion companies, fragrance makers or ever seen on a label of a Crayola crayon.

Putting the “Brand” in their brand new baby, having a child was another business move for the celebrity couple. In the mix of changing diapers, sterilizing bottles and reuniting Destiny’s Child for lullabies, the mogul family has plans of releasing a line of baby products under their daughter’s name. This will include clothing, bibs, carriages, diaper bags and Blue Ivy Butt Paste.

Everything the month old VIP touches, poops and spits up, turns to gold. A loaded diaper would sell for millions on Ebay.

Let’s get real, the fabulous life is expensive; from the mansions in New York, LA, and Miami to his and hers Ferraris to baby’s 1st private jet. The funds need to come from somewhere and that somewhere is Beyonce’s uterus. Just the way baby Blue milks Mama B’s tasty titties at every feeding, Blue Ivy is getting milked herself and is hard at work as the folks’ cash cow. It’s “moo moo” not “goo goo”

The red carpet was rolled out for baby Blue way before her first appearance. Ma and Pa paid to have the maternity floor fully renovated, an army of security to crack down on any non-famous patient in the hospital, and used a decoy of a baked ham in a onesie to mislead the paparazzi waiting outside. Then on January 7th with stage lights shooting across the room and babies from the hospital nursery dressed in sequins as hired backup dancers, Blue Ivy Carter made her grand entrance popping out of Beyonce, crying out, “Can I get a waa waa?”.

With new money rolling in from Blue Ivy’s business, don’t be surprised when Beyonce and Jay Z buy a fully stocked Toys ‘R Us for their princess on Christmas or just because. Mariah, your twins have been challenged.


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