Girl You Know It's True Ooh Ooh Ooh That Ain't You

Girl You Know It's True Ooh Ooh Ooh That Aint You
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (August 14, 2008)

We can't continue to fill their heads with false hopes. You gotta teach girls when they're young; no matter how talented you may be, whether it's in acting, singing, or underwater basket weaving, if you don't have the pretty face to make yourself a star, you must settle for a spot in a dark planetarium.

At age 7, Yang Peiyi has learned just that. The little China girl was scheduled to sing a patriotic tune at the Summer Olympic Opening Ceremony in Beijing in front of the mega loads of a worldwide broadcast. But after a better look at her less-than-glamorous head shot, the tiny Hannah-Montana-wishful was pulled from the performance like a bad night at the Apollo at the very last minute.

Her munchkin features and the obvious weight problem in her baby-fat physique, were found unsatisfactory in representing the Chinese nation, and was quickly replaced by 11-year-old model/actress/gecko, Lin Miaoke, who although lacked the vocal chords, had some things Peiyi didn’t: composure, experience, and a full set of teeth.

Learning from the best performers in the US, such as Ashlee Simpson and Britney Spears, the wise elders in charge of the ceremony decided that lip-synching was the answer to their ugly dilemma, and ultimately pasted Peiyi's voice onto Miaoke's face, unbeknownst to the spectators around the globe, or the deaf.

Putting her acting skills to the test, as Peiyi belted it out behind the scenes, Miaoke simply stood in front of the international audience, gleaming and eating up instant fame and publicity, all by playing make-believe. (Pretty much how Bill O’Reilly acts in front of the mirror every morning while listening to Barbra Streisand.)

A crime has been committed. Billions of people have been deceived. If this were the United States Senate, both girls would've been impeached from office by now. But again communism plays a whole different ballgame and the girls are off the hook.

Hopefully, Miaoke does not continue performing concerts and follow in the footsteps of American Grammy-winning, leotard-sporting lip-synching super-duo, Milli Vanilli. The Chinese cannot exactly pull off a dreadlocks-waving persona; their hair is too thin.

As far as Peiyi's singing career, there isn't too much concern. She's still young, and already promises a great face for radio.

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