It's Not Delivery, It's A Marriage Proposal

It's Not Delivery, It’s A Marriage Proposal
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Feb 13, 2012)

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore…

Make it a Valentine’s Day to remember and an engagement story to make all the junk foodies on the couch watching Weekend At Bernie’s jealous with Pizza Hut’s “Dinner Box Proposal Package”. Show your sweetheart how much you love her by getting down on one knee and slowly opening a box revealing a medium pizza with 5 breadsticks, a cup of marinara sauce and 10 cinnamon sticks. Before you can ask, “Will you marry me?”, see your honey jump for joy and scream out, “Yes! Pepperoni, my fave!”

For $10,000, along with the enchanting Pizza Hut dinner, the package also includes a ruby engagement ring, limo service, flowers, a fireworks show, photographer and videographer to capture the magic moment on camera for Pizza Hut’s next commercial and new slogan, “A Slice Of Love Under The Hut”. You may need to work extra shifts at the gas station to come up with the money but with a smoking hot pizza topped with heart-shaped mushrooms, there’s no way a girl can resist.

With grease dripping down into the river of love, nothing brings two people together like a Pizza Hut pizza. The romantic scent of tomato sauce and mozzarella sets the mood for any two lovers. If you’re looking to get lucky with the girl you met at the Laundromat earlier in the evening; leave a trail of sprinkled pepperoni slices leading to your bedroom. With a scantily clad pizza laying in bed and “Let’s Get It On” playing, the humpty hump is bound to happen. That’s a Pizza Hut guarantee.

Give Cupid the day off this Valentine’s Day and hear the wedding bells ring with the Dinner Box Proposal Package. You’ll be picking out rings and his and hers Doritos bags in no time and don’t bother worrying about catering the reception either because Pizza Hut’s got you covered. Beat that Match.com.


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Til Death Do Us Wed

Til Death Do Us Wed
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Jan. 24, 2012)

A woman in Thailand was forced to marry against her will while helplessly lying dead in a casket. The wedding vows, “Till death do us part” were completely disregarded after the groom, trying very hard not to break off any of his bride’s limbs, carefully placed a ring on her brittle finger.

The ceremony took place during Sarinya Kamsook's funeral after losing her life in a car accident earlier this month. Scoring a 2 for 1 deal with the temple, Kamsook's living boyfriend, Chadil Deffy, was able to pay his last respects and wed his corspe bride simultaneously. The nuptials took place with Kamsook cold and safe in her coffin after fears arose of the bride's body falling to pieces while getting dragged down the aisle.

Unfortunately deceased, Kamsook was unable to voice any opinion in the wedding planning from the dress, the cake, the flower arrangements or the DJ playing "Thriller" during the couple's first dance.

The groom posted the wedding video and photos on Youtube and Facebook to share with family, friends, and millions of unknown strangers. Criticism arose that the mortifying marriage wasn't an act of a hopeless romantic but a desperate ploy at a publicity stunt that has landed Deffy as the web's newest celebrity next to Keenan Cahill and the Dramatic Chipmunk. Regardless of the intention, hooking up with a dead chick is nothing new. Just ask Tom Petty.

Luckily there's no footage on how the wedding night was spent between the newlyweds or if any acts of necrophilia took place in the moment of passion, though it seems Mrs. Deffy will be spending her honeymoon alone six feet under ground while her husband sips on cocktails, alive and breathing on their couples cruise to the Caribbean islands.

Whether it beats or not, a heart is still a heart. True love never dies.


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