Saturday, August 20, 2011

PETA Makes A Porno

PETA Makes A Porno
By Chloe Dinnerrolly (Aug 20, 2011)


Don’t eat meat, munch a rug instead. In hopes of gaining more supporters, PETA is launching a porn website inspired by raunchy rabbits, humping-hungry dogs and Jenna Jameson’s award winning film career. The animal rights group’s new XXX site will feature pictures and videos of human sexcapades as well as live streaming from the north pole titled Arctic Nights with a fully nude female polar bear on ice skates.

Knowing very well that sex sells when it comes to putting an end to animal abuse, animal testing and Joe Pesci movie sales, PETA got the idea for HornyHyenas.com after taking advice from Heidi Fleiss following the shooting of her own reality show for Animal Planet, Prostitutes To Parrots.

Sticking to their anti-fur campaign, all actresses are told to shave the power muff before filming in honor of the American bald eagle. Promoting vegetarianism, videos will also include girl-on-veg action featuring adult film star, Cucumber Cummings.

Seems People of the Ethical Treatment of Animals could care less about the ethical treatment of people, while guys worldwide alone in their room surf the site with lotion in one hand and a hamburger in the other.

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

America Goes Green

America Goes Green
By Chloe Dinnerolly (Aug 2, 2011)


“Pot for Patriots” is the new catchphrase for a medical marijuana clinic in Lansing, Michigan that offers a free sample of the herbal refreshment to registered voters. Yes, the weed you buy to relieve the pain caused by cancer, glaucoma, and stubbing your toe while playing hacky-sack, comes at no charge with a simple “I Voted” sticker on your Grateful Dead shirt.

Offering a little something more motivational than what politicians promise, owner of Your Healthy Choice Clinic and certified drug dealer, Shekina Pena, started the peace pipe promotion to get the public voting when elections for the city council took place last week. The people of Lansing were seen walking into voting booths surrounded by a cloud of smoke and laughing hysterically at the word, “Election”. Yet the proud voters were still able to cast a vote for Snoop Dogg for Mayor, before raiding the 7 – 11’s snack aisle.

Smoking doobies has now become as American as obesity, heart disease and shopping at Pottery Barn. So, say The Pledge of Allegiance, light up and ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.

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